Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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