Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
