Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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