Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
