Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
