porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
