So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize