There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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