Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize