First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
