Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
