Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize