i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
