We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
