Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
