her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
