so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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