i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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