everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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