Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
