Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
