how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
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Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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