ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
