She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
