he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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