Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
