I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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