I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why do cheetos always look like penises
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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