My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
