I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
