butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
