Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
