She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
