I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize