So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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