People with herpes should wear stickers.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
