Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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