I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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