oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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