so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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