My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
