I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
