That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
