TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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