My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
