im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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