remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
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Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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