i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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