brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
