So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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