it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
