Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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