Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
