I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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