I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
