True but thats because hes a fetus.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
