We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
