I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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