I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
