I'm going to jail i love you
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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