another moral hangover. fuck.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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