The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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