I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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