there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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