Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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