Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize